Peace.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:7.

With everything going on in our world today, peace isn't one of the first words to pop into my mind to describe our lives or the world we live in. Between the economy, unemployment, and the countless other issues happening right now, peace seems to be more of a luxury than a day-to-day reality; however, I can testify to the verse above.

For the past several months, my office has been going through a myriad of changes. From a new president to early retirement packages, it seems as if the whole company was (and still is for that matter) is a state of transition and waiting. Throughout this metamorphosis there have been an abundance of rumors encompassing the building. It's always fascinating to catch a glimpse of people huddled around someone's cubicle because you always know that is the location where the latest rumor is being discussed. I remember coming home one day and my roommate remarking about how tired I looked. I felt tired too. It was a normal work day so I didn't really know what was wrong with me. Did I have a cold coming on? I finally realized that I was tired because I was on this emotional roller coaster all day at work. I would hear a good thing.. then a bad thing.. then a good thing.. then two bad things. These rumors (NOT EVEN FACTS!) were wearing me out. From then on I decided that I had to be diligent in not participating in the rumor mill. So I worked very hard to avoid entering into those conversations because they never seemed to be productive anyway. I felt as though it stirred more worry and fear than anything. I'm not saying those huddled masses were ridiculous for doing that.. I get it. People tend to try to fill in the blanks were there are simply no answers. Instead, I chose to wait patiently for solid answers instead of grasping at straws. People would stop by my office to ask "what have you heard?" My answer has been the same for a while. "Nothing. I haven't been listening." Haha.. I literally said this today. I figure if something is concrete from the top of our chain of command, we will all know it anyway, right? I decided that I'd rather not be in the "know" on the latest rumor and I'd wait for a substantial answer from the top.

This has been surprisingly easy for me. I feel the need to also point out that this is not normal Ashley either. I am a perpetual worrywart. Yet, I was at peace with the situation. I may or may not have a job but I know that that Lord is faithful and that I need to put my trust in him. This doesn't mean that I will get what I want but I trust in his plan (I repeat Romans 8:28 to myself often), whether or not I am still am working where I'm working or not. I am also at peace with the new leadership and the direction the company is taking. I really believe that the Lord is involved and "doing this thing". So regardless of if I am still serving him here or somewhere else.. I trust in his plan (maybe a little Jeremiah 29:11 thrown in there too).

I had a conversation a few months ago with one of the guys I work with. He thought it was strange that I wasn't participating in the rumors. I think it seemed to him that I knew something he didn't so he called me on it. My answer had to have come straight from the Lord because I have no idea how this even popped into my mind. I said something to the effect of, "I just have peace about it. It's not security. I have no idea if I am going to have a job tomorrow or not. And it's not apathy. I am concerned about what is happening but I just have peace about it. I'm not sure who's been praying peace for me but it's definitely working." I know that the Lord used me that day, with those words, to encourage my co-worker. The peace that the Lord gave me encouraged another with his walk that day. This peace has been a peace that has spoken to my soul not to say "well, why should I even worry about this project.. who knows if I'll even be here in a few month" but says, "I am not working for man but for the Lord and I know this is what I am supposed to be doing for this season."

I don't write this today to say, "Oh look at me and how spiritual I am because I'm not gossiping." That's not it at all. I write this mostly to remind myself in the days ahead of the peace that God has given me in this season. A peace that truly transcends all my understand and really has guarded my heart and mind - and kept me sane! I also write this for you, dear reader. I pray that whatever your circumstances may be that the Lord will give you peace. The verse before Philippians 4:7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" - Philippians 4:6. God is faithful, I know that for a FACT! Lean on him for your peace. Let him become your peace.

"For he himself is our peace" - Ephesians 2:14

Psalm 84

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah

Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

There's no such thing as perfect people.

I love that scripture is full of diverse and messy lives that God uses in BIG ways... especially when I am feeling insecure because of the different things in my life. Whether it is past sin, shortcomings, or even just the way I view myself.. there are always people I can look to in scripture and see how God uses every single circumstance and insecurity in our lives for His glory. If you notice, he rarely uses perfect people. Actually, God has only used one perfect person, Jesus. Just look at Noah, David, Thomas, Paul, the list goes on and on!

What encouragement for us today, friends. As Natalie Grant sings, "There's no such thing perfect people. There's no such thing as a perfect life. So come as you are broken and scarred. Life up your heart and be amazed and be change by a perfect God". I don't know what your insecurities are... I don't know what you struggle with... but God knows and he understands. And most of all, he wants you to seek him and let those things be used for His fame.

I'm seeking to offer up my insecurities to God so that he may be able to use them in a mighty way. It's not comfortable and it often leaves me feeling even more insecure but I want my life to be a story of God's glory.. not my comfort or security.

Join me. Offer your insecurity to God and let him radically use your life for His renown.

For such a time as this.

I am beaming right now. I just got an email from World Vision saying that one of the loans that I helped fund has been FULLY funded. Praise the Lord! I wish I could be in the Philippines when they tell her that her loan has been funded and that she can buy what she needs for her business. What a blessing.

This is her bio- Getty Cabanag's business is hog raising. She started raising pigs one year after she got married to a farmer. She has three children, the eldest is 21 years old, who inspire everyday. The income she makes in growing pigs has benefited her children for paying for tuition and school fees. She desires to grow her business. By buying more piglets, she can expand her business more. Getty Cabanag is 45 years old and has been married for 25 years now.

The communities bio- The community of Mountain View is located in a boot-shaped province on Negros Island in the Philippines. Home to Mt. Kanlaon, an active volcano, the area is rich with natural resources. With convenient access to a variety of markets, the community is emerging as a promising frontier for investors. Economic activities revolve around agriculture, fishery, and forestry. Environmental degradation is a pressing concern. The region has been identified as one of the lowest income-earning areas in the country. Families struggle to acquire proper nutrients, and some do not have access to clean water. Malnutrition and disease are constant concerns. Families are hindered by poor road conditions, and many children drop out of school. In Mountain View, World Vision has provided community members with key employment skills, including training in food processing and assistance in livestock rearing. We have also provided medical and housing assistance, supplemental food for malnourished children, fees and materials for children to attend school, and educational support for child laborers.

I was praying for Getty Saturday night. Not only that her loan would be fully funded but that she would be a light for other women in her community. "See what the Lord can provide!" Seeing some of the pictures that were posted from World Vision reminded me of my short time in Guatemala. I remember watching the women make tortillas. From shucking the corn to grinding it to make flour.. it was amazing to see how hard these women worked to provide the basic needs for their families. I love that picture and am reminded of it often. A part of me desires to run out into the mission field somewhere and forget the about the twitters and facebooks and such and just go and live in community and be in community with a people. They don't even have watches.. time doesn't matter. People do. I love that. While I'd go in a heartbeat if God asked, He has called me to be exactly where I am now. Alpharetta, GA. (And goodness knows.. he definitely wants me here.. I can't escape that!) I have this desire for a reason, however. Maybe it's so I will be diligent in funding missions with the resources I've been given. I don't know.

However, what I do know is that God has placed you where you are at this time in history FOR A PURPOSE. Like Esther (one of my favorite stories). Just one seemingly ordinary girl who God had great plans for. She was hand picked by the king to be his wife and when her people were in danger.. she was able to help because she had the kings ear. God had a plan. (Oh, it wasn't all that easy though! If you have never read Esther.. DO IT!)

So, where are you? Who is your mission field? What is holding you back? "Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" -Esther 4:14. And maybe when I get to Heaven, I can meet Getty and hear all of the wonderful things she was able to do because of a tiny little thing I helped do.

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For more infromation on funding a World Vision loan.. check out: http://www.worldvisionmicro.org/

Me? A Berean? I thought I was just a perfectionist!

Last week I sent out an email to everyone in my group at work about the new interactive media implementation I was working on. It included links to connect to our different sites and detailed instructions on how to join the different sites, if they didn't already have an account.

Now, when I say "detailed".. I mean DETAILED. It's been said about me before that I am "extremely detailed orientated". That was always the one question in interviews I got nervous about- "Are you detailed orientated?" Of course I always said yes but I didn't want them to think that I was just saying yes because that is what you "supposed" to say. I wanted to let them know that I was in fact extremely detailed orientated. When I give directions to someone.. they are to a T. When I am fixing a website or documents.. they are always consistent and uniform. I think that's why I got first place on my Senior Portfolio in college.. it was, for a lack of a better word, perfect.

So, I sent out the email explaining how to get social media accounts and I get an email back, "Thanks! Handy guide that was attached, too."

I reply, "Haha.. thanks! I’m a little too extremely detailed orientated! :)"

He responds, "Okay, so that explains Acts 17:11."

The bottom of my email signature reads: "'Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.' - Acts 17:11 (NIV)" This is one of my favorite verses of scripture. (See "Can I be a Berean?")

When I read his email it really hit me.. Wow! God really created me intentionally. He created me with my crazy "detailed orientated/perfectionist" mentality so that I would be diligent in studying His Word... so that I would be a Berean. Very cool. Sometimes I take my personality for granted. I love taking the personality tests (Myers Briggs, etc.). However, I forget that it was GOD who dreamed me up. He was the one who gave me my greatest strengths and worst flaws. What I am to do? Become more and more like his Son.. that way he can use the way He created me to it's fullest potiental. Oh, I pray that I would be diligent in doing so. That the Lord might use me for His glory.

My prayer is the same for you, friend. You are YOU because God created you that way. Strive each day to "have the same attitude of Jesus" (Philippians 2:5-11) so that HE can use you to your fullest potiental for the Kingdom.

FYM- Find Your Ministry

I love hearing about different ministries. I think there are so many different types of people that need to be reached in this world and having such a diverse mindset towards ministry is great. One of the newest ministries at Bush Memorial Baptist is "F.A.I.T.H. Riders". It's a motorcycle ministry that shares the Gospel with those that ride bikes right where they are. I love that this ministry strives to share that common ground with people and use it for God's glory. It's really cool. I also think it's neat because it's something that I have no experience in and quite honestly, have no desire to do... BUT there are believers out there who love to ride and want to use that passion for God. Ah, I just love it. :)

Back in college, I was involved with the Baptist Campus Ministries. If you know me I have a passion for music and I just love to dance and have a good time. Through the help of my friend Melodye, who was the same way, we decided to use that passion for God's glory. So, we signed the BCM up for the Step Show. That's right.. BCM at the Step Show. We decided to take some fun Christian hiphop music and choreograph the routine in hopes that we might share the Gospel in this unique way. It actually turned out really well. Not only did we have a BLAST doing it, but a lot of people came up to us afterwards asking about our music we used. :) Very cool.

But I digress.. I think the whole point of the blog post is to encourage you to find your unique ministry and jump on it. God has given you unique passions and talents for a reason. Don't count them out. Do you like to knit? Well, maybe you can start a small group that gets together and knits and talks about scripture during that time. Do you like to do yard work? Well, I can't imagine why BUT maybe you can start a ministry at your church that helps others with yard work who can't so it themselves. Do you like to ride motorcycles? Well, check out F.A.I.T.H. Riders. Do you like hiphop music and like to dance? Well, check out the videos below.. and try not to laugh!



Front row.. second from the right. Then i move to the left side of the screen and stay there from the rest of this part of the video.


You can't miss me in this video because yep.. that's me preachin' it! Sweet. Oh and that "Go Ashley" is from a sorority sister! :)

The Spirit.

I love it when a sermon hits me right between the eyes. It's like God taps me on the shoulder and whispers, "Beloved, I want to show you something new. I want to take you a step deeper." Then it's up to me to take that opportunity or walk away from him. I'd like to say that more often than not that I take the opportunity and run with God, but I fear that has not always been true. It's definitely a journey and I just have to follow step-by-step, in faith.

Today, my pastor brought it with an anointed sermon on Ephesians 5:15-21. I love that he totally busted it into a sermon about the Holy Spirit. Ever since before Passion I had longing to learn more about the Holy Spirit. At Passion, a friend and I had this conversation and he suggested a book for me to read. By God's sovereignty, I had the opportunity to attend a bible study led by my high school mentor on that very book. (Very neat!) With all the busyness of my life currently, this was a well-timed reminder.

My pastor mentioned that there are two negative dealings we have with the Spirit. Quenching and grieving. I've heard those phrases over and over yet never really dug into them deep.

Quench (1 Thessalonians 5:16-21) - "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good."
Grieve (Ephesians 4:30) - "And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption."

Here are the conclusions I came to regarding these dealings:

Quench- things we don't do. (like, we don't rejoice, we don't pray, we don't do what God tells us to, etc.)
Grieve- things we do. (like, we are angry, have unwholesome talk, etc.)

After further reflection I came to a few realizations of how I do both of these things.

Ashley's confessional time: (yep, that's right!)

Quench (things I don't do) - Not taking actions to further my relationship with the Lord above all other things.
What are these actions that I don't do? (Not an exhaustive list.. just a few examples):
Matthew 6:33 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 - Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Isaiah 55:6-9 (read the whole chapter when you can.. but I need to grab a few bits from this chapter to save your eyes)- "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Grieve (things I do) - Doing life (whether in thoughts, attitudes, or actions) my own way instead of seeking his desires.
What does this look like? (Not an exhaustive list.. just a few examples):
Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Philippians 2:5-8 - "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross!"
James 2:17-18 - "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, 'You have faith; I have deeds.' Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do."

I think my next step is to dig into these verses (and others that apply.. which there are several) and really seek the Lord in these matters so that I may "be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18).

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P.S. Did you know that in scripture the phrase "filled with the Spirit" usually comes with amazing power and boldness? I WANT THAT! There a tons of examples (especailly in Acts) but these are a few of my favorites!
Check it out:
Micah 3:8 - “But as for me, I am filled with power, with the Spirit of the LORD, and with justice and might, to declare to Jacob his transgression, to Israel his sin.”
Acts 4:31 - “After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.”
Acts 13:9-12 - “Then Saul, who was also called Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked straight at Elymas and said, ‘You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord? Now the hand of the Lord is against you. You are going to be blind, and for a time you will be unable to see the light of the sun.’ Immediately mist and darkness came over him, and he groped about, seeking someone to lead him by the hand. When the proconsul saw what had happened, he believed, for he was amazed at the teaching about the Lord.

Coincidence? I think NOT!

Katergazomai is exactly what this next post it about. This is definitely one of those issues that I just had to let God energeo in me. {Have no idea what I'm talking about? Check out my post "Why Is Your Blog Called Katergazomai?"}

So, I've been dealing with the issue of God's sovereignty vs. coincidences for several months now. I've talked with my friends, mentors, and everyone. While what everyone said is what in my head I believed.. it just didn't' seem good enough. I really wanted to believe and know without a doubt and truly believe that God was in control of everything rather than just have several coincidences.

I believe the people that I spoke with prayed for me and I even prayed about it... and WOW! God really showed himself off to me and these people. God has been really active in this situation and I can't help but to share! I have 3 incidences that I want to tell you about:

Incident #1:

My first experience was kind of a joke between my high school girls minister and myself. I went to talk to her about this issue. I let her know my concerns and the things I was thinking about. We were in her living room and the light behind me started to flicker and annoy both of us. I think Tracie saw it as a teaching moment and said, "So, like the lamp? Like, is God in control of that flickering?" As soon as she said that "POP!" the lamp began to smoke. We quickly unplugged the lamp and started laughing about how "God must have heard us talking about Him and wanted to prove it". While that was kind of funny and we both laughed about it.. I still wasn't even close to being convinced that it was God. Coincidence? Most likely.

Incident #2:

My second experience was really a neat event, period. My friend Allison and I had talked about my concern with coincidences before one night after out Old Testament class. Well, we decided to go out for a bite to eat because she had just gotten back from a mission trip to the DR and I wanted to hear all about it. We arrived at the restaurant and were quickly seated. The waitress came by and got our drink orders and left. Allison and I talked about the trip and different things. The server came back with our drinks and some yummy bread and left. I decided that instead of dipping my bread in the cinnamon butter like I would usually do when I'm with my family, that I would be considerate of Allison and ask for our silverware so I could use the knife. Before I could even ask the server, Allison was dipping her bread in the cinnamon butter. (You know you are good friends when you don't even care. Ha!) The server came back and got our orders and left again. By this time Allison and I both noticed that she was having a bit of a rough day. She just looked tired and like she had been on her feet all day; however, we just brushed it off. After a little while, and after the bread and cinnamon butter was all gone, out server finally came out with our meals.. but alas! No silverware! So, I asked the server politely if we could get some. The server left and I said to Allison, "I think we should pray with her when she gets back". Now- I must admit that I NEVER EVER do anything like that. Well, I have never done it before. So, it had to have been the Holy Spirit that said it because it came out of left field! The server came back.. we asked her if we could pray with her while we blessed our meal.. we did.. and she left. It was so WEIRD! Allison was really excited because she said, "that is the kind of thing that we wanted to bring back from the DR with us". We thought it was neat to pray for someone and then we remember the silverware. If we had gotten our silverware in the beginning of the meal, I probably would have never asked to pray for her. It's only because she left to grab our silverware that the Holy Spirit spoke to us. Coincidence, hmmm... maybe?

Incident #3:

My second experience happened last week and was really the final straw in this case. Since moving to Alpharetta, I have been thinking about church "shopping". I really value the establishment of the local church so I decided that the weekend after Easter would really be my first chance to go to churches and visit. Saturday night I had decided to attend a certain church. When I woke up Sunday morning, I just didn't really feel like going there so I found two other churches that I'd go check out. The worship service at one church started at 10:45 and the other church's started at 11. So, I decided to go to the church that started at 10:45 first and if things seemed weird, I would go to the 11 church instead. I have no idea what I was thinking about the 10:45 church by "if something was weird" but that was the plan. So, I set off on my adventure to visit a church. I drove to the church that started at 10:45 and there were hardly any cars in the parking lot. I figured that since it was Spring Break, that maybe that was the issue. Well, that was "weird" enough of me to go to the 11 church instead. I drove over to that church and got there a little early. I went in and found a seat. They have the offering plates in the back so I took my communication "first time guest" card to the back and stuck it in the bowl. When I went to go sit back in my seat there was a girl standing near my chair looking at the stuff in the seat, like the bulletin and such. I went back and sat down. She looked at me and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Let me put this back for your friend." and I informed her that no one was sitting there. She asked if it was my first time and I said yes. So she asked if she could sit next to me. (That was a total me move, so i knew I liked her already.) We began to talk about moving and what brought me to Alpharetta. Then she asked me where I work and I told her. When I said where I worked she asked, "Do you work in Church Planting department" and I said, "Well, that's creepy" and laughed. She told me that she literally had an email from HR about mentoring me at work. I laughed out loud. Even before I was offered the position my supervisor had been telling me about a mentor that i would work with. Turns out.. this was her! We laughed about it and thought how funny it was to meet without anyone introducing us. Well, Someone did. ;) What's EVEN better about the story.. is that she works in the children's department every other Sunday... so if I would have went to the 10:45 church and came to the 11 one the next Sunday.. I would have missed her! Coincidence? I think NOT!

God has really been energeo with me lately. It a HUGE example of how he is romancing me and proving things to me about himself and his character. This is a great example of Philippians 2:12-13. Now, you- go katergazomai! I want to hear your stories!

Rewriting the tapes.

Our service and conduct do not earn salvation, but they are results of our salvation. I don’t do certain things or act a certain way so that God will love me. Rather, I am able to serve Him and grow in the Spirit because he loves me and died for me. That kind of thinking takes the focus off me and what I can do and puts it on God and what Christ has already done.

Instead of:

Hey God, did you just see that. Yep, I did that for you. Love me some more and prove it by giving me something. (Now, I would never say that out loud to God or anyone else, but I believe that is what I think sometimes.. oh, and then I don’t “get” something I feel that I have failed or that God doesn’t love me as much. YIKES!)

Rewrite that tape:

Wow God. Thank you for empowering me to do that.

Let me be honest here, sometimes I say the second one out loud or even pray it to God BUT my heart is still saying the first part. Yuck. It is definitely a battle but it is one worth fighting!

Can I be a Berean?

I’ve been doing a lot of introspection lately. It’s been a good experience because God has revealed 3 issues that I am trying to work through. I won’t talk about all three in one post because that would be a really long post; however, I do want to address one right now.

Most of my life I’ve let myself be spoon fed my "religion". The fault has definitely been mine. I’ve been seeking truth in a lot of Christian books. I love to read but I should be more zealous about Scripture than the latest book from the newest trendy author.I haven`t really been diligent about checking what people (pastors, authors, friends, etc.) say against the truth in scripture. Let`s be honest, it's easier for someone else to do the work. I’ll admit that I’m rather lazy when it comes to checking what someone I trust says against scripture. If it sounds about right, it’s truth. Friends, that is not right. My mind is not the measuring stick for truth. Scripture is.

I want to be like this:
"Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." -Acts 17:11

I think I have the first part down. “They received the message with great eagerness.” I am definitely eager to hear what others have to say concerning theology. I like the way other people think and interpret things. It makes the Word more like a pop-up book rather than my one-dimensional thinking.

However I am not so great at the second part- “and [they] examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” Why? Lazy. I’m satisfied with their brand of theology. Wow. I am about three steps away from following someone into the woods and drinking the Kool-Aid. This is not good. I feel like a lot of people do this though. We automatically assume just because a pastor said it, it’s truth. We need to be diligent in checking what people say against scripture. I don’t think it’s disrespectful to examine what someone says against the scriptures. In fact, if someone tells you not too.. that should be a huge red flag.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I want to be like the Bereans. Not only should I be eager to hear God’s Word preached but I should be checking what I am hearing/reading and not just blindly accepting whatever they say as truth just because “it sounds about right”.

Why is your blog called Katergazomai?

Ah, yes. You noticed that, huh? Well, let me just sit right down and tell you.

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." - Philippians 2:12-13

I recently found that verse very intriguing. I love the idea that we are to continually work out our beliefs. Each day is a different struggle and a chance to work it out! The Greek word for "work" as in "work out your salvation" is:

Katergazomai-
1) to perform, accomplish, achieve
2) to work out i.e. to do that from which something results
a) of things: bring about, result in
3) to fashion i.e. render one fit for a thing

I love this idea. We are to continually "bring about" our understanding of God and his Word. But, I also noticed that God "works" too. However, through further study, I noticed that it is a different "work" as in:

Energeo-
1) to be operative, be at work, put forth power
a) to work for one, aid one
2) to effect
3) to display one's activity, show one's self operative

When we are struggling with an issue and trying to "katergazomai" it, God "energeo" it too. He "displays [his] activity and show [himself] operative" in our lives!

Isn't that amazing! I want my life to be a series of searches so that I can know God better. So that he can show off and display is activity and power. I long for this. I don't always do this but I pray that I would.

Can I just encourage you to "katergazomai" today? God is already "energeo". ;)

Foundation.

Last week, I had the opportunity to volunteer at a conference in Atlanta. I love the heart of these people because they are truly servants. We were not merely “volunteers at a conference” but “door holders for a generation”.

I was in the area called Kneel. This area was made up of three environments. 1- A prayer journey. This area took students through 10 different areas to pray for different things like their campus, the nations, roommates, the conference, etc. 2- Pure Grace. This room consisted of the cross and was a room that students could go into and pray about whatever was on their hearts. There was paper and pens so that students could write prayers or whatever and lay it at the cross. I saw many students praying over these different cards through out the conference. 3- The holding area. This was a quiet place with couches and different places to sit. We encouraged students to use this area for journaling or reading the Word.

Most of what I did was registration for Kneel and talking to students about what the different environments were. Even thought I worked really hard, I had a few bits and pieces of time that I used to go down to see the students praying and it was powerful. I saw a young male student and he came and asked me about the certain room I was in. I explained it to him and he got really excited and went in and started to pray. I was blown away and just started praying for the student. I obviously don’t know anything about him but I prayed for him to really follow the Lord passionately and to grow in his walk with Christ and that he would grow up to be a spiritual leader and a man that followed God with all of his heart. After that I just began to pray over the students. Every time I would pray for a female student it was almost always the same- “Show her your love. Show her that she is worthy in your sight. Show her that she is ‘good enough’. Show her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.”

I was blown away the most by the students that came and talked to us after they finished. They definitely had the radiance of God on their faces as they explained what an amazing time they had in prayer and what a neat experience it was to go on the prayer journey.

The BIG THING that I really got out of the conference wasn’t from a speaker or a lead worshipper or anyone else. I had a few minutes of free time and went to Kneel and just had some quiet time before the Lord. I have always known that I had a passion for working with youth and college students but God just really reinforced my heart for students, especially girls ministry. One of the things I felt so heavy on my heart was that in order to really speak into the lives of these girls, I need to really know what God says about them and about me. So that it’s not just Ashley telling them that they are really great but it is the God who created them that thinks they are really great.

With this vision in my heart, I am trying to keep to just that. I have a tendency to get a little out of proportion when I feel like God is telling me to do something. Right now, I feel like he is telling me that in order to really speak into these girls lives, I need to really dig into his word and see what HE says about them/us. When I hear that I’m like “okay, oh gosh. It’s time to look into seminaries, and find a job in ministry, etc.” He may call me to that yes.. but for now- I think he is just asking me to dig into his word so I can tell girls what it says. I think right now He is calling me to the foundational steps instead of any kind of full time ministry.

I’ve been blessed with several like minded women in my life who have a heart for girls and it’s been amazing to just talk to them about what the Lord is doing. They have all given me several references to go to as well as just encouraging me to dig into the Word. There is a book that I’ve wanted to read for the longest time by Francine Rivers called “A Lineage of Grace”. It chronicles the lives of five unlikely women in the lineage of Christ. Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary- who were all women whose lives were tainted according to human understanding, yet God chose them to be a part of his plan of redemption. Also, in the book there is a bible study that goes along with each story. I’m pretty excited about learning from these women as a part of my foundational plan and see what the Lord does next.

He knows.

I was awaken this morning by a text message from twitter. I've subscribed to mobile updates from Logos, which tweets a verse almost everyday. This was today's passage.

Luke 12:22-34

Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Be blessed today. :)

Honest Conversation.

This is an honest conversation that I had via email with one of my spiritual mentors today. I'm trying to wrap my head around some pretty big truths lately.

---

Reid,

Here is something that I've been turning my wheels on a bit. I "taught" (using that term loosely) my small group on Wednesday from that John Ortberg book we are reading. Of course, I changed it up a bit but one of the things that came up was the depravity of man. Having gone to SBTS, I am sure you know a lot about this.. haha! :)

Here is an article I found.. I'd love to know your thoughts when you get some time.

http://www.monergism.com/thethreshold/articles/piper/depravity.html

ac

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Ash -

I like the article and find that I agree with all four points in general. We are bad, in trying to be good we are worse, because without Christ we are totally unable to do spiritually good, and therefore we deserve death and hell as a consequence.
On what are your wheels spinning? The devil is in the details . . .

---

I think I'm just frustrated with these facts-

We were sinners but because of Christ's work, we are declared righteous. There is nothing that we can or could have done to do this, only Jesus and the cross accomplished this fact. There is nothing we can do to have this taken away from us, if we believe. HOWEVER- the depravity of man. WE ARE GOING TO SIN. No matter what. We are predisposed to sin. BUT we are declared righteous. I mean, I don't want to sin but I do and there is nothing I can do to save myself. So, no matter what I do I am still saved but I still sin. UGH! So, what are we supposed to do? I don't want to live with sin. I don't want it in my life.. but it will always be there and because the depravity of man there is nothing I can do about it. So, I mean, why NOT sin? I get Romans 6, where paul says we shouldn't but what?! I don't get this. Help.

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Do not sin. You will, but it can grow less and less instead of more and more. Be righteous, not because you have to be but because it pleases the Father. What God cares about is the intesity of the battle, he has already won the war, just stand frim, put on the full armor and fight the good fight - victory is his!
Do not worry about failure! Repent and move on. Failure and fear are from the devil. Jesus died for failure and God works everything together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose, so why fear?
Find the joy of obedience and forget the despair of disobedience.

---

But we are going to sin anyway, so why try? Because we love the Father? I get that but I think I am very much that person who does good works SO THAT the Father will love me instead of doing good works BECAUSE the Father loves me. This boggles my mind.. I can't wrap my brain around that.

The more I seek God.. the more he doesn't fit into my formulas and boxes.

---

That is legalism, and that is why you fail. You can not be perfect and therefore can not make perfect like you. You get tired of trying and give up. Start with grace, let perfect love you and let his love make you more perfect and your love will then desire perfect. . . it will become an ever striving joy, not a burden.

Who We Are.

How often do I forget these truths? How often do I put my identity in something other than Christ? countless. My identity does not depend on my circumstances but on the redeeming work and person of Jesus Christ! This is who we are as co-heirs with Jesus (Romans 8:16-17)-

I Am Somebody, A Saint, By God’s Grace, In Christ
Ephesians 1:1-1, Psalm 139:13-18 , Ephesians 2:8-10, 2 Corinthians 5:17

I Am Blessed With Every Spiritual Blessing And Have All I Need In Christ
Ephesians 1:3, Colossians 2:9-10

I Am Chosen By God
Ephesians 1:4,11, 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5, Colossians 3:12, John 1516

I Am Holy And Blameless In His Sight
Ephesians 1:4, Romans 3:21-26, Romans 8:1-4, 1 Corinthians 1:30, Ephesians 4:22-24

I Am A Loved Son/Daughter Of God
Ephesians 1:4,5, John 1:12,13, Romans 8:15-17, Romans 8:31-39, 1 John 3:1, Romans 5:6-8, John 15:15, 1 John 4:9-10

I Am A Trophy Of God’s Grace
Ephesians 1:9-10,12, Ephesians 2:4-7, 1 Corinthians 15:1-11

I Am Redeemed And Forgiven
Ephesians 1:7, Isaiah 53:4-6, Colossians 1:10-14

I Have The Holy Spirit In Me
Ephesians 1:13-14, John 14:15-17

I Am God’s Possession
Ephesians 1:14, 1 Peter 2:9

**Notes from Passion City Church 10.25.09**

Preach the Word.

I love this.

seemingly small compromises sabotaging my best intentions

This morning I became very mindful of how capable I am of sin. I mean, I am quite aware that I sin all the time but there are certain sins that creep their way into my life, almost daily, and manifest themselves in many different ways.

There is a quote that has always stuck with me about this. It’s from Oswald Chambers and he says, “The root of all sin is the suspicion that God is not good”. I know with everything that is in me that God is good and that he has a wonderful plan for my life but that doesn’t make me any less vulnerable to sin. I hate the way the enemy slithers in and whispers lies into my heart. I hate even more that I am so susceptible to believe those lies.

“What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.” –Romans 7:15-25 MSG

This is me. I have the best intentions and most of the time can talk myself out of doing, saying or thinking different things but little by little, my compromises sabotage my best intentions. I definitely relate to Paul’s statement- “I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge”. I hate that feeling, the feeling of having no control when my seemingly small compromises have brought me to a place of no return and guilt. I think this is an awful trick of the enemy. Little compromises that lead to guilt and then I don’t even want to acknowledge the Savior out of guilt and regret. I don’t feel worthy of his grace because once again I have failed to do what is right. Lies.

“He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all.” –Romans 7:25-8:4 MSG

That is my hope. That is your hope. That is the gospel.

Even when my best intentions are destroyed by my lack of belief that God is good, Christ is still there- standing in the gap that I have created myself with my own sin. Even if I don’t “feel” worthy to approach and ask for forgiveness, I am but not because of my own righteousness but because of the righteousness that Christ gave to me on the cross when he took those sins away.

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21 NASB

Always.

I ran across a piece of paper from Atlanta Fest today and realized I haven’t updated in a while. God works in crazy ways. Let me explain.

The first night of Atlanta Fest I was very privileged to meet a woman named Kris. One of my favorite parts about my job is that I get to hang out with and chat with listeners. When Kris arrived at the Fish tent, we chatted about the festival and different random things. She introduced me to her sister who was with her. It was nice and seemingly normal, at first. Even though she wasn't from the Atlanta area, I just brushed it off as getting the opportunity to meet with another listener.

A few hours later, Kris showed back up to the tent. I was working on something else at the time but she got one of my interns to grab me. I stepped away from the things I was attending to and went to chat with her some more. I figured she had a question and that it wouldn’t take too long. When we started talking again she began to unfold her amazing story to me.

You see, like I said before, she wasn't from Atlanta. In fact, she was from Phoenix. I knew she was there to see Building 429 and she now explained why. Back in 2004, her son was murdered by his father in an attempted murder suicide. She began to describe her beloved Joshua to me. It had been about 4 years since it happened but I could see the hurt on her face and I could hear the pain in her voice. She told me what had happened with her ex-husband and about the custody battle. She told me that Joshua was spending the weekend with his father, just like they had arranged.. just like normal. She continued to tell me about what unfolded when she found out and the trial against the father. She explained the happenings of the years- from her depression and anger to finding God faithful amidst a terrible tragedy.

My heart dropped in that instant just like it did an hour ago when I found the piece of paper she wrote her information on. All the things I was so worried about that day seemed to pale in comparison to the things she had been though. The things I’m worried and getting so stressed out about today still seem to pale in comparison.

A few minutes ago, I did a little research on her and the story of what happened and as I looked through news paper articles on the case, obituaries, and all kinds of stories, I also realized that I had forgotten about the song. Building 429 actually wrote a song about her called “Always”. That gave me goose bumps the night I heard it and it does now.. as I listen to the message.

Check it out here-
http://www.imeem.com/crownofthorns5/music/MyDHg9qy/building-429-always/

Here are the lyrics:

I was standing in the pour raining
One dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold
When she caught my eye
Her face was torn and her eyes were filled
And then to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph
And my heart just stopped inside
She said He would have been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face
What was I supposed to say

But I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always

He was living in a broken world dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace
When I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt
When his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears
And the anger locked inside
He's barely holding on to faith
But deliverance is on its way

'Cuz I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always

Friend I don't know where you are
And I don't know where you've been
Maybe you're fighting for your life
Or just about to throw the towel in
But if you're crying out for mercy
If there's no hope left at all
If you've given everything you've got
And you're still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on

Cuz I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
Always, Always
He will be with you always
He will be with you always
He will be with you

What a BEAUTIFUL reminder from the Lord. He never fails.. He knows our pain and the things we are going through.. and His promise remains..

Always.

They’ll know we are Christians by our love?

I was working out yesterday and watching the news at the same time and I saw a piece on an abortion provider who was shot dead at church on Sunday.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/05/31/kansas.doctor.killed/index.html

There are so many things about this that bother me. Now, I’m usually not one to speak out about these kinds of issues but this really threw me over the edge. I don’t know if the gunman was a Christian or not but it got me thinking.

I’m fed up with the Church being known for what we are against. Anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-this, anti-that. I feel like Christians today are known more for our anti’s than our love when scripture clearly says that is what we would be known by. John 13:35- “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I know this is something I need to take to heart.. I could definitely love people more.

Oreos of Omission

I’ve been doing quite a bit of introspection over the past two weeks. I’ve come to a lot of conclusions about why I am the way I am and why I do certain things. It’s been very interesting.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that I am extremely hard on and very competitive with myself. I can be competitive with others, sure! But when it comes to me, myself, and I.. the three can have quite a fight. I’ve noticed this in several areas of my life but it really clicked the other day when I was working out. I’ve been doing intervals on the elliptical- 4 minutes at 140-150 and then a minute at 170-180.. then repeat for 30 minutes. I stare down the numbers during the 170-180 time and if at any point the number gets close to 172 I ramp it up because “I know I can do better than this!”

My boss said something about this a couple of months ago. He said that he would never have to yell at me about an issue, he would just have to tell me that he was disappointed and I would take care of the rest myself because I am so hard on myself. True story! I am extremely performance-driven and when I feel like I have done something bad or wrong… I am harder on myself than anyone else would ever be. I want people to be proud of me and the things that I do- so I work extra hard to keep from letting people down. If I feel I let someone down- I take it out on myself.

I wonder if relates to the fact that I’m also really bad about omission. I’ve never been a great liar.. I mean I can lie but I always end up giving myself away or telling the person that I lied. I just can’t stand it… and I don’t really see the point in being dishonest. If I know that I’ve done something bad, like lying, I can’t help but to tell that person. I hate having things hanging over my head like that. It inevitably breaks me down. Like this morning, for example- I told my personal trainer every bad thing I did yesterday including the 3 Oreos I ate. I didn’t have to and he probably would never have found out but the fact that I did it and I knew he would have been upset about that… I just couldn’t help it.

My mentor from college would probably say this was an absolute fact about me. Becky knows me better than any person on this planet… I am certain that she knows me better than I know myself. Whenever I was struggling with an issue- I just couldn’t stand it… I had to tell her that I did whatever it was. Many of my college friends know this is true too. I just can’t stand to hold things in.. it drives me crazy!
I mean, I want to be perfect but I might as well let everyone in on the secret that I’m no where near that. I guess this is just something that I've been thinking about today.. dang Oreos!

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14